


Trouble Sleeping

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, post 1x20
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-09
Packaged: 2018-01-24 03:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson can’t sleep and gets a late-night-visitor. There are some conversations you shouldn’t have while being exhausted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble Sleeping

His eyes burned. He should keep them shut and sleep, but he had tried that for three hours and yet he was still awake. So ten minutes ago he had switched the lamp on the nightstand back on and tried to read some files. Without any success. His brain was in knots, his thoughts running in circles. So silly. He had Hydra to worry about and the whole world to save and yet his thoughts returned to Melinda May.

“You’re still up,” she said.

He gasped and turned his head to the door. There she was, standing in the doorway, her hand on the knob. “Can’t sleep,” he said and frowned. “Damn, you move quietly.”

She wore leggings and a loose black shirt. Her feet were bare. She must’ve been to bed already.

“You should get some rest,” she said.

He snorted. “Hello pot, I’m kettle.”

“I’m tougher than you.” She looked at him deadpan.

“Probably true.” He yawned and covered his mouth with his hand.

She tilted her head. “What’s keeping you awake?”

Loaded question. He dropped the files into his lap. “Nostalgia, I guess,” he said.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not sure if that’s wise.”

“That never kept you from doing anything.” She stepped in and closed the door behind her without a sound. It was impressive. But everything about her was.

Avoiding to look at her, he collected the files and put them back on the nightstand. “Did you ever want someone really badly but then realized you were just fooling yourself?”

“Audrey,” she said without missing a beat. She knew him well.

“Yesterday a year ago, I first kissed her.”

Melinda raised a brow. She knew him _too_ well.

“Fine,” he sighed, “she kissed me. I hadn’t even noticed she liked me before she kissed me.” For such a smart guy he could be fairly oblivious to such things. When Melinda had said he meant a lot to her, he had been shocked by the possibilities. By hope.

“You don’t have to give up on her.” Her voice was soft. It was killing him. Loving Audrey was so much easier.

If he’d be brave, he’d ask her if she’d love him. But Melinda wasn’t good with romantic relationships and he was terrible at watching her leave. “With Ward …” he tried, “How could you keep it to just sex?”

“We didn’t want each other.” She shrugged. “We just needed someone.”

He looked at her. “I’m here for you. I could’ve …”

“No.” She crossed her arms.

He bit his lip. “What I thought.” She didn’t want him as a lover. Of course not. Though expected, the rejection stung. He wished she’d come closer. He wished she hadn’t come to his room at all. He wanted to touch her. Usually they just touched when they were either giving each other medical assistance or if they were being attacked. The last time he had touched Melinda, he had shielded her face from splintering glass as Hydra had attacked the bus. “I haven’t even thought about Audrey since I last saw her.”

She leaned against the door. “You were busy.”

“That’s not it.” He swallowed his words. He loved her. He had thought about her. He shook his head. “You don’t want to hear that,” he said. Then, “Why are you here, in my room, I mean?”

“I saw the light was still on.”

Of course she had. He rubbed his forehead. “I never told Audrey about you. She didn’t know about our phone calls,” he said. He covered his face with his hands and yawned. “Gosh, I’m so tired.” He shook his head and looked at her. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say these things.”

“Am I a pity project?” she asked.

He pulled his brows together and straightened up. “What? No!” How could she think that? He forced a smile. “You’ve been saving me, remember?”

She stepped up to the bed. Her smile was just as fake. “I’d appreciate it if you at least tried to avoid grave danger.”

He had to grin at that. “Not gonna happen.”

“What I thought.”

Gosh, he loved her. He was so tired. And he loved her. “I missed you,” he said before he could stop himself. “I missed you so much. You ground me.” If he’d reach out his hand, he could touch her. He could pull her into his lap and hold her. She’d probably break his arms for that.

She sat down at the edge of the bed. “Phil …”

“No. Even with Audrey …” … he had missed her. He pressed his lips together and took a breath. “But I mean a lot to you,” he continued, “it’ll be enough.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I love you. It’s silly.” He shrugged. “I thought I had stopped, but no.”

“Excuse me?”

What had he done? “Can we just act like I’ve never said that?”

She turned her head to the side. “But you _did_ say it.”

“Just don’t freak out, please.”

“Phil.”

“We’ll be friends,” he added quickly. “I’ll be fine. Just don’t leave because of this, yes?”

She placed her hand on the covers above his knee. “I love you.”

Now he was hallucinating. “Gosh, I’m tired.” He was drained. “You’re right, you’re tougher than me …”

She squeezed his knee. “Phil, shut up.” Her voice was soft again.

“Okay. Sorry.”

“I’m not Audrey,” she said. “I’m not polite. I’m not social. I’m not cuddly. I’m quiet. And I can’t stand classic music.”

“You like Vivaldi.”

“Not the point.”

Was she insecure because of Audrey? The thought hadn’t occurred to him before. Being tired made him dull. “What you said about Ward, that you just needed someone? I think I just needed to love someone and Audrey is wonderful.”

Melinda pulled her hand away. He should stop talking about his love to another woman.

“I’m rather here with you than anywhere else,” he said.

“I can’t change.”

“I don’t want you to. I love you.” These were the facts.

She touched his face and his eyelids fluttered. He wanted to nuzzle against her palm.

“I love you,” she said and ran her fingers through his hair.

He blinked. Maybe he wasn’t hallucinating. “Please don’t sleep with other men?”

She leaned in and placed her lips against his. Before he could register her kiss, she pulled away and smiled. “Wasn’t planning on it.”

She cradled his face with both hands and kissed him again. With a sigh, he slid his hands beneath her arms and up her back. He spread his fingers over her shoulder blades. There was no force in his touch. He just wanted to feel her. He was too tired for anything else. Kissing her was lovely.

“You could sleep here tonight,” he whispered into her ear and kissed the spot right below.

“Yes.”

He kissed her jaw. “Just sleeping, we could …”

“Yes.”

A minute later the light was off and they had settled together under the covers. Her head rested on his shoulder, his arms were wrapped around him. She slid one of her legs between his, which would’ve driven him insane with desire, hadn’t he been so exhausted. Tomorrow he’d make love to her, he promised himself. Tonight sleep would be more than enough.

She sighed and nestled against him. “This is nice.”

“It is.” He caressed her arms. “I think you’re cuddly,” he whispered into the dark. “Like a stray cat when she eventually trusts someone.”

She didn’t answer. She was sleeping. Probably better. He wasn’t sure if she’d appreciate being called a stray cat. He kissed the crown of her hair.

Smiling, he closed his eyes.


End file.
